Wednesday, February 3, 2010

...and the Drawbacks

Besides loneliness, bandwife-dom has it's drawbacks. So your husband thinks you're the best thing since sliced bread, but to the other four members, you're not much more than an inconvenience. 

Sure, they're nice to me. It's more of a sense I get. As much as I try to be nothing but supportive, I can tell that "ball and chain" still applies.  The fact that I carry equal and sometimes more weight than the band, irks them I am sure. Like it or not, though, I am here to stay.

 [ Morgan and I at a show in Mtl. Sure, they LIKE me, but... ]
This brings me to their new project: the video! I am oh-so excited that great things are imminent. The song (fingers crossed) should hit radio by the end of the month, and the accompanying video will be completed around the same time. The boys are working with Chris Mills, most noted for his direction on Modest Mouse's Float On video. The concept sounds amazing! 

Last week, after their meeting with Mr.Mills, Alex came home and opened his big fat mouth: "I think you would be great in the female lead." Cogs and wheels are turning. My head is spinning. Could it be? Finally, a life long dream realized? You see, I have always wanted to dance/act/appear in a music video. Silly, I know, but it's a childhood dream that stuck. I had a chance once, when my musician friend Vivek Shraya cast me as the lead in his video. Artistic differences (so I am led to believe) between artist and director meant that the footage would never become a complete video, and my debut was indefinitely postponed. Too bad, because it could be my "audition" reel. :)

 [ vivek shraya - photo by istoica ]

[ deliberating spandex choices at the fitting for Vivek's video ]

The role in the new Sweet Thing video is to be an edgy evil-ex-girlfriend Amazon-type who has just broken the heart of one of the poor boys. As a joke, I came up as a possibility in the meeting (although, I think Alex was testing the waters) and the group brushed off the idea with a laugh. They'd never go for it. Damn. What? I can be edgy. And, Amazon? Please. It's in the bag. So I'm not a trained professional? I've had camera and stage experience, though, via my Much Music stint, and years of airbands and stage plays, and hosting high school events and televised announcements. It has to count for something, right?

It's a lost cause now, as they're shooting next Wednesday, and even though they don't have it cast just yet, Toronto is crawling with aspiring babe actors. However, in a last ditch appeal, I hereby submit my candidacy for the lead in the new video. 

Boys, here's why you should cast aside my bandwife stigma, and seriously consider me for the role (I'm joking. Sort of.):

1. I can totally pull off edgy. So my mostly-bubbly personality precludes me, but I've been known to pull out the bitch when necessary...

2. My 5'10" frame screams Amazon. Am I right? Maybe I'm not as curvy as your typical Amazon woman, but that's nothing that a great push-up bra can't fix.

3. I take direction well and I'm not shy. I'll do and wear anything. So, despite my limited acting experience, I know I'll nail it quickly. I'm very determined. 

4. You wanted a Rose McGowan type, but in my opinion, the thought of any of you dating such a girl is laughable. However, I suppose I could pull off a somewhat softer and less sexed-up version.

[OK, so I have nothing on her]

5. Best of all: I'm free. With a meager $20K budget for the entire video (including styling, post, etc), having free "talent" can't hurt. Oh, and my closet is already bursting with Wonder Woman-esque bustiers and edgy get-ups that never get any limelight - I'd even be cheap in the wardrobe department.

P.S. Your fans will never know that I am the guitarist's wife.

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